Maysaa and her three sons have survived two years of war. Three times they have been forced to flee, and in June 2024, the family's apartment in Gaza City was reduced to rubble in an Israeli attack. From the wreckage, she dug out broken toys and a scratched photo album.
Now they say the war is over. The outside world is rejoicing and Maysaa is happy – but celebrating is difficult.
"I will not celebrate. Throughout the war, my boys have asked for sweets and I have replied 'no, not when others are suffering'. It's as if I cannot be happy when others are struggling", she writes to TT over Whatsapp.
Asking for grandmother
The war has taken friends, family members, relatives. Those who have survived are scattered – Maysaa's brother and parents managed to flee to Egypt before the borders were closed. In June, her mother passed away in Cairo. Now the feeling of loneliness is overwhelming.
"Before the war, we all lived together. Yesterday, my four-year-old said he wanted to talk to his grandmother, 'where is she?'. He said it over and over again. It made me start crying."
"I feel so alone. Isolated and alone."
Wants to leave Gaza
Since August, when Israel's attacks on Gaza City intensified, the family has been renting a half-finished house in Zawaida at an exorbitant price. They cannot stay there. But where they will go is unclear.
"I must find a place where we can be safe. I do not think our house can be rebuilt", she says.
Throughout the war, Maysaa has been planning for a future outside the Gaza Strip, beyond the ruins. The most reasonable choice is Egypt, where her husband had received a doctoral position at a university before the war broke out.
"If the border opens, we will leave Gaza immediately. To rest and think about what we will do. My boys cannot live here."
