Every time 40-year-old Ahmed Abuzaid leaves the small room in Khan Yunis to find food, he says goodbye to his sick mother and father. Every time he calls his wife in Sweden, he says that he loves her and that they will see each other in another world. Every day feels like the last.
I have carried dead bodies, seen starving children die and people's bodies torn apart in bombings. I do not know how I will recover if I were to survive this, says Ahmed Abuzaid and is silent for a moment to collect himself.
Stuck for two years
He has been stuck in Gaza since the war broke out almost two years ago, when he went there to apply for a residence permit in Sweden. His childhood was spent in Gaza, but before he returned in March 2023, he had been living in Sweden for almost ten years.
It was intended that his wife Rihana Abuzaid, who is a Swedish citizen, would accompany him. That plan was stopped when she suffered a back injury just before the trip that made her unable to travel.
Before, he tried to be positive, but now he just wants to die. It feels terrible, if I had been there, we would have been together at least, says Rihana Abuzaid, who is in contact with the Migration Agency and the Ministry for Foreign Affairs, fighting to get her husband home.
After difficulties in getting help from Swedish authorities, and with the escalating distress in Gaza, the dream of being able to return is fading.
I do not live for myself. I live for my family, for my parents to be well and for my wife, says Ahmed Abuzaid, who has lost almost 40 kilos since the war began.
"Losing feelings"
He sends over a video from the previous night. Ahmed tries to sleep, but around him, attacks are ongoing. He films straight up at the ceiling, it is dark, but in the clip, the sound of bombs is deafening.
The military is visible in the sky and at sea, but they are not on the ground yet, he says about the situation in al-Mawasi, on the outskirts of Khan Yunis.
Israel currently controls about 75 percent of the Gaza Strip. This week, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has threatened to take control of the remaining parts of the land area, where Israeli hostages may be located. He is now waiting for the plan to be approved when he assembles the security cabinet.
I will be completely honest. Of course, I am very scared, that I will lose my family or that I will die, but because of how sick this situation is, I am starting to lose feelings.