Emil Hansius is one of Sweden's biggest YouTube profiles and influencers, best known for his humour videos. In December he hosted "Musikhjälpen" on P3 and this fall he is part of TV4's coverage of the parliamentary elections.
Bullying at school
But there is a darker side to life that he has not previously been open about.
I am 20 years old when I finally realize that I need help, that I can't carry everything myself, says Hansius in his summer programme , which is mostly about his mental health.
Emil Hansius describes it as him being constantly tormented by rising anxiety, even since childhood. He suffers from tinnitus and hypochondria. And he is subjected to bullying by older students at school back home in Piteå - without anyone intervening.
One day when he is in his 20s, he breaks down in the car and starts crying after a shift at a grocery store.
So I'm 20 years old and have my whole life ahead of me and I only see and feel darkness, says Hansius.
Directing criticism
Finally, he seeks help from the health care system and goes to a doctor who offers him medication, but Emil Hansius would rather talk to someone - “a professional” - and is promised help. The doctor promises to put him in line to see a psychologist.
This was eleven years ago. I was 20 years old. Today I am 31 and I am still standing in line. That thought makes me so terribly angry, he says.
Hansius arranges contact with a psychologist on his own. And he is very critical of the care offered to people with mental illness.
I often think about what happens to those who are not so lucky. Those who have no one to catch them. Those who, just like me, put all their energy into daring to seek care. But then ended up in a years-long care queue without ever being called back.
"Summer" is published as a podcast at 7:00 AM in the Sveriges Radio app and broadcast on P1 and in the app at 1:00 PM.
