In 2024, a total of 25,296 sexual crimes were reported to the police, according to the Swedish Council for Crime Prevention (Brå). 9,633 of the reports concerned rape. Rape reports against children up to 15 years of age were 2,876, which corresponds to 30 percent.
In every single confirmed case, there are victims whose lives have been shattered and who will never be the same again.
But there is also a group that is rarely talked about. A group that often has difficulty getting the help and support needed to move on: the perpetrator's relatives.
“A huge shame”
In a recent thesis from Umeå University, Roberth Adebahr, MD and psychologist at Anova at Karolinska University Hospital, sees great suffering among relatives of sex offenders. The feeling of guilt and shame is palpable.
"We have interviewed relatives of people who are under investigation for child pornography crimes, and we see how difficult it is for them to get support. They take on a lot of guilt, become isolated and lonely. You don't understand how hard it affects them," he says.
Relatives can call our helpline Preventell, and we can meet with relatives of patients with unwanted or risky sexuality who receive treatment with us, but this is not enough to meet the need. More knowledge needs to be disseminated to both primary care and online psychologists.
"Jenny" – whose real name is something else – knows all about feeling guilty for something you can't be responsible for.
When she and her daughter were abroad a number of years ago, her daughter came to her and wanted to tell her about memories from her childhood.
“Jenny” describes how the world cracked under her feet.
My daughter told me about abuse, events from when she was little that she now remembered. About what her father had done. What she said, it was so clear, I looked at her that she wasn't making it up. He had also told her that he would kill her if she ever said anything to anyone, says "Jenny."
It was such an incredible shock. I had no idea. She had had a good relationship with her father, my ex-husband. He is the kind of person you would describe as kind and caring.
Found organization
"Jenny" and her daughter quickly made their way home to Sweden, filed a police report that later did not lead to prosecution because there was no evidence to support the story, and tried to process all the terrible things.
I felt so much guilt and shame. My logical brain can tell me that I couldn't have done anything. But it doesn't matter. Emotionally, I felt a huge amount of guilt. When we divorced, he got access to the children, they were with him every other week. How could I not see what was happening? How could I not understand how bad my daughter was feeling?
After her daughter told her story, “Jenny” found Rise, an organization that supports adults who were abused as children. In many ways, the conversations and support there were her salvation.
Hermine Holm is the general secretary of Rise. She shares Roberth Adebahr's view that primary care cannot always provide the support necessary for relatives of sex offenders to live a bearable life.
"We have contact with relatives of perpetrators and feel that society has difficulty seeing them. There is absolutely not enough support. Health centers rarely have the necessary expertise and then it becomes difficult for relatives to find ways forward themselves, which in turn can cause great ill health as a result," she says.
The ideal place
“Jenny” never turned to primary care for help in processing her feelings. It would have been too cumbersome, she says.
Going to a health center..., it would have been a long wait. Referrals would have to be sent, I needed something quickly.
"Jenny" is silent for a moment, then she continues:
I feel like it should be easier to find help. In Stockholm there is a reception for raped women, such a special place should exist for people like us too. I think there is a fear for many of ending up with someone who doesn't understand. So the ideal would have been a place that you know you can contact.
"Jenny's" ex-husband has not been convicted of the abuse his daughter has told him about. He denies that anything happened.
Preventell is a national helpline for people who feel they have lost control over their sexuality and feel worried about their thoughts and actions or that they will commit sexual crimes.
Conversations take place anonymously with people with extensive experience in similar issues who can provide support and advice and help those who want to continue with treatment.
Relatives or people who have questions about problematic sexual behavior are also welcome to call.
Telephone hours are weekdays between 12:00 and 15:00. The line is open for messages 24 hours a day, all year round. Preventell will call you the next weekday from a hidden number.
The helpline is run by the Anova clinic at Karolinska University Hospital.
