Maysaa al-Khodary was proud of the home they had renovated and furnished. Especially the sons' Saeed, Yazeed, and Omar's bedroom: a fine desk, toys everywhere, beds with bedspreads with Lightning McQueen. A safe children's room in a happy home.
The days after the outbreak of war in 2023, the family was forced to flee. They left food for the cat, enough for five days.
Now the desk is firewood. It was bombed by Israel while they lived in a tent in al-Mawasi in southern Gaza. In the cramped refugee camp, the children lost weight and the youngest, Omar, got eczema, so when the ceasefire came in January, they headed north, homeward.
Preserves and rice
From the remains of the family's home, they picked up what could be saved.
Do you know how I cook? Over an open flame, using furniture from my house as firewood. There is no electricity. The other day I burned the pieces of the desk where my children used to do their homework. So I cook and I cry.
The family is not among those who have it the worst. Both Maysaa al-Khodary and her husband have jobs, and sometimes they receive money from friends abroad. In Gaza City, they rent an apartment for $500 a month. But the food becomes meager, a mishmash of what's available for the day. Preserves, rice, and lentils – never milk, meat, vegetables, or fruit. Sometimes the children get enough and refuse to eat.
But they come back when they realize there's nothing else.
They say Israel is letting in food now, but I haven't seen any. No one I know has received anything.
Rotten flour
is extremely expensive. Last week, Maysaa al-Khodary sold her bracelet to be able to buy 25 kilos of flour – which turned out to be rotten, crawling with insects.
The youngest son is 3.5 years old and has lived almost half his life in a war zone. When she got a bit of chocolate, he tasted it – and threw it away. He doesn't know what chocolate or sweets are; hardly even what fruit is.
In al-Mawasi, I bought bananas once. Omar had never seen it before, so he tried to eat it with the peel on.
I laughed, but deep inside, I just wanted to cry. This is not the life I want to give my children.
Lost many
A few weeks ago, she took the boys and bought the only thing they really want: ice cream. It was insanely expensive, she says. But she was tormented by the thought that it would be like for many others – that the children would die and that she would deny them their last wish.
Thoughts of death are constantly present. Maysaa al-Khodary has lost so many. Cousins, friends, colleagues.
You create all these relationships and then... One day we eat together and the next, they're no longer there.
The area the family resides in is subject to an evacuation order, one that is usually followed by Israeli bombs.
But we're staying. We have nowhere to go.
