Despite Sweden ranking high in divorce statistics in Europe, figures from Statistics Sweden show that long marriages are an upward trend. Increased life expectancy and improved public health have meant that more people are living to the age of 80 and celebrating their golden wedding anniversary before either of them dies.
So how do you keep a relationship “clicking” over the years?
The King and Queen don't share much marital advice in the interviews the couple gave ahead of the celebration. The King is content to say "We have a good time and work well together" - but he also adds understanding, openness and trust in each other as important keys to the relationship.
Love is hard work
And the three building blocks also appear to have support in research. Emma Engdahl is a professor of sociology at the University of Gothenburg and has written several books about love and how to keep it alive at different stages of life.
One of the most important insights is not to believe that love will take care of itself. A long-term love relationship actually involves hard work. Love needs attention. Not all the time, and it doesn't have to be grand, but recurring, she says.
The couples who are now celebrating their golden wedding anniversary met in the 1970s, but it is a mistake to think that the person you fell in love with will be the same for the rest of your life.
We humans change and you need to be curious about who the other person has become and feel joy in the new perspectives it brings. It can create tension in the relationship, says Emma Engdahl.
Freedom from responsibility
The threshold for royal divorces is high, but Emma Engdahl believes that there is a risk that we generally give up on relationships too easily.
The King and Queen have been together for 50 years, which is a very long time. In this way, they can serve as symbolic role models in that they represent longevity, shared responsibility and continuity. This is valuable in a time when we talk more about breakups than about endurance.
Today, there is no shame in getting a divorce and that is good, but it is also a freedom from responsibility. Unfortunately, love has been commercialized in such a way that we see potential partners as goods on the market and think that maybe someone is a little better and a little more exciting than the one I am living with right now. But there are no long-term relationships that are not boring, difficult and a little tiring at times, she says.
Supporting partners
Remembering the promises that were once made can give stability to the relationship, and staying and fighting even when it is difficult can deepen the love in the long run. In TV4's program "The Royal Couple - 50 years together", this is precisely what Prince Carl Philip highlights as one of the strengths of the parents' relationship.
Despite some difficult times, they have chosen to be supportive partners by each other's side. I have seen that in several different contexts; it is very nice, he says.
A good relationship role model is not a couple who never has problems, but a couple who show respect, can bear differences and do not humiliate each other in public, says Emma Engdahl.
Recognition. To feel seen as a human being and not just as a function: the one who fixes things, the one who makes money or the one who takes responsibility.
Kindness. It is absolutely fundamental. Tone of voice, looks, small gestures, touching each other. Respect in everyday life.
Justice. Long-term injustice in terms of housework, finances, freedom, and responsibility often creates bitterness.
Repairability. All couples hurt each other sometimes and then it is absolutely crucial to say sorry, “I understand you”, “I want to try again”.
Curiosity. Don't think you know who the other person is. Continue to ask, listen, play, laugh and do new things together.
