In the book "Welcome to our marriage" the couple writes together about how Christopher Wollter cheated on Dufvenius with many different partners for over ten years.
To be unfaithful with casual sexual contacts, despite being in an otherwise happy relationship, is a common procedure for people with compulsive sexual behavior. This is stated by Katarina Görts Öberg, head of the Karolinska University Hospital's specialist clinic for sexual problems, Anova.
It can be parallel relationships, it can be pornography use, or sex chatting. What is characteristic is that you have a strong sexual preoccupation and have difficulty controlling it.
Immediate gratification
The simple answer to why people do something destructive, despite knowing that it can hurt a loved one or involve other risks, is that we are driven by immediate gratification.
A kick, a thrill. You avoid thinking about something that is tedious. That it can then have negative consequences the day after, that's harder to consider.
In healthcare, it is called compulsive sexual behavior - not sex addiction. But there are several similarities with an addiction.
In the sense that you seek a changed emotional state. And then you need more and more of it to get the same change.
Shameful for women
Although relatives can suffer a lot from living with someone with sex abuse, there is relatively little support to get, despite great needs, according to Katarina Görts Öberg. It is perceived as difficult to seek help, and shameful to talk about.
Some even say that they are not treated professionally in healthcare, because you hear that it is completely given that you should leave this person. That you are stupid for having stayed, or not understood.
Almost all who seek support at the Anova clinic are men. Other studies also show that men are overrepresented, according to Görts Öberg.
It may be that it is more common in men, but also that it is more shameful for women to seek help.
